Friday, December 9, 2011

Backstabbing Yourself Sounds Difficult

We talked in class about how one of Kochan’s main problems is his disconnect from other people, and his belief that he is different and everyone else is the same. I’ve been wondering if his inability to relate to people is because he thinks he already knows he can’t fit in. Because he “knows” that everyone else is normal, and he “knows” that he is special and separate, he can’t figure out how to fit in. When everyone else his age was worried about fitting in, growing up, and their development of a sexual identity, Kochan was moping around already knowing the answers to life’s questions. He enjoyed his dark inner world too much to realize just how much of his reality he had made up to fit his tragederian aesthetics. Ironically he missed out on the self-discovery phase of development because he was too busy reinforcing his immature conclusions and reflecting on how much smarter and more mature than his peers he considered himself.  In a cruel twist of fate, this troubled, lonely, self-doubting guy was perhaps done in by his haughty, erroneous conclusions.

Lesser Evil?

In our last class, I had a thought comparing Kochan to Mustafa that I’ve been mulling over. In many ways they are very different, but in others they seem to run parallel. Kochan’s use of Sonoko as both a cover and as a self-esteem car jack is like a shadow of Mustafa’s use and abuse of lonely British women. Both of these dastardly deeds come as a symptom of their inability to fit into society. They share a feeling of being apart from everyone around them because they’re so special, and maybe the lingering doubt that they’re different because they’re freaks, as well. Kochan’s vigorous attempt at squeezing himself into normality started way earlier than Mustafa’s, but we are left not knowing whether his head start lead him to success, or if he ended up bunking with Mustafa and the fishes. Though both are damaged individuals, I feel obligated to point out that Kochan was mostly self-destructive, while Mustafa had a tendency to stroll through life demolishing people to try to make himself feel better. So, as selfish as Kochan acts, I have to admit that, with his detachment and twisted fantasies of violence, he could have been a whole lot worse.